"LITTLE PINK SHIT MACHINE"

A Very Short Work of Fiction by Brian David Shuey

"And how old is it?"
"Seven weeks."
"It's seven weeks OLD, or you've had it for seven weeks?"
"I've had it for seven weeks."
"So how old is it?"
"I don't know, what's it matter?"
"Well, I'm just wondering how big it will get."
"Pretty big...I guess."
"And you're just going to keep it in that box?"
"That's the box it came with."
"What does it DO?"
"It pretty much just makes that noise and fouls itself."
"And why did you buy this thing again?"
"I don't know, it looked cute in the store."
"What do you feed it?"
"The guy gave me this white stuff."
"That's all it eats?"
"He said that's all it eats until it gets a bit older.""But I guess most of them don't make it that long."
"What do you call it?"
"I'm thinking of calling it, 'The Little Pink Shit Machine.'"
"Cute, but really, what are you going to NAME it?"
"I don't want to give it a proper name just yet in case it dies."
"That makes sense."
"What did they call it at the store.""HUMAN."
"That's weird."
"Yeah, they're kind of new."