HOLSTER THAT CASH CARD, TWINKLE-TOES

(From March 9, 2008)

So all I want is a refill on my coffee. There are four people in line in front of me. Each pays for their sub-$5 purchase with a credit card. Adding about 2/12 minutes to my wait.

Fucking peckerheads.

This is happening more and more lately.

Are people honestly taking those, "Life Takes Visa" commercials to heart?

Maybe it's just the economy.

Either way, I want my fucking time back.

My time is, "PRICELESS."

(Where's my MASTERCARD commercial?)

Perhaps the U.S. Treasury should start doing commercials for CASH.

Here's one: "Cash. The people behind you in line will hate you less."

Or this: "Cash. So your wife's lawyer won't know what seedy hotel your banging your secretary in."

Just a thought.